First Contact

And here we are...

...a lot of you thought you would never see this day but just days after my 64th birthday, here I am entering the modern world of blogging.

I don't exactly need to introduce myself because I know that you all know who I am...and if you don't, well then you haven't been living. Simple as that. 

For the few poor souls that may not have heard of me (I pray for you), my name is Dick Burger and I have been on the radio for over 25 years presenting The Fun Zone on Logan FM. If you've never heard my show then it's most likely that you're not reading this and have been dead for several years...

So, why have I set up a blog? Why now? Well, as you know, I have always been a big fan of technology and the changing world even though it sometimes leaves me baffled. For instance, I was at a family dinner recently and my grand daughter was showing me her phone. A smartphone, if you will. Well, after her tapping this and rotating that, I can tell you all here and now that there is nothing smart about these idiotic devices. Everybody - apart from my grand daughter, of course - that uses a smartphone is far from smart. All these little contraptions do is erode the brain - which was already pea-sized before the smartphone was placed into the poor fool's paw. Who needs to bloody know such information about a person's location is beyond me. Facebook this, Twitter that. Twits, the lot of them! 

And when you see the poor fools that use them, they all look so dependant on the little things and are tapping away on minute screens to beat the band. Can you imagine what these poor souls will be like once they are in retirement homes? They will all be limping around tapping the palms of their hands. Christ! It will make One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest seem tame.  

Oh dear, I am drifting...back to the blog, Dick.

As you know, I have been on the radio for over 25 years - that's a long time, by the way - and as you, faithful listeners, are aware - things at Logan FM have not been going too well as of late. For those of you that do not know, we've had a change in personale in our backroom staff. The new whip-cracker is a little scut that goes by the name of Myles. You don't need to know his surename but he is the founder´s (the late Mr. Robertson) grandson and he has no clue about running a radio station. So, I am afraid to say that the Glory Days are well and truly over at Logan FM. Even my show - the longest running show - has cruelly been changed to another time. I know that this has caused so much upset and heartache to you all because I have read a lot of the touching e-mails that you have sent to me - I do apologise for not being able to respond to each and everyone, by the way.  

One would swear that this Myles found his skills in a crisp wrapper. Well, I would swear that he found them up his pet dog's hole. He brings shame to his late grandfather, who was a truly exceptional man, might I add. You all remember the upcoming Poet's Corner, don't you? It was going to be a feature on the Fun Zone each Thursday. I had arranged for top poets such as Mint Man and Tooty Fruity to read for you wonderful listeners some of their classic pieces of poetry and to allow them to showcase some of their new material. Of course you all remember because it is something we discussed on the show many atime. Well, all because of a certain somebody - it really does boil my blood to even type his stupid name (you wouldn't call a son Kilometres, would you?) - I am gutted to announce that the Poet's Corner will not be going ahead. I am truly devestated and I know you will be too.

Am I drifting again? So why the blog? As I have already stated, things at Logan FM are on the down. Of course, I will still have The Fun Zone on the air, and I will still be happy to take your calls and e-mails, but I am hoping that this will allow me to communicate with you a little better. And who knows, maybe this won't be so bad afterall. It will allow me to voice some things that will not be possible to do on the air. The theme will be more or less the same as the theme on the radio show but it will have more to offer. Not only will I be telling you my highly valuable views on current affairs, I will also be telling you all about that idiotic clown that is unable to manage his own ass let alone a radio station! Plus a few more surprises along the way! 

Well, friends, as always the pleasure has been mine. 

Until next time,

Dick Burger.